QUID IGITUR FACIAM? — by Michael Burns
He was not the first!
Even though he would like the world to think that he was first —
on the contrary I was….the first one.
I have no memory from before that time,
except for waking from the darkness.
Into the light.
Of my father and my mother?
There was nothing before the waking.
He is the progenitor, his populate covers the planet.
in this great play.
Mine, inherit the soul.
And what is man without a soul?
Without a shadow side.
You didn’t know that did you?
You have been told lies,
She has never met me, even though it is said that she has,
in so many ways, by many liars.
That her, and that I…
that we did meet,
and that I corrupted her….and told her lies about some great God.
That created it all.
That I convinced her that he existed.
And was against her, and him.
Because he was a jealous and angry, everlasting.
I have neither spoken to her, or touch that fair skin.
Nor met his lord.
I have only seen her from a distance,
and that was the first time, the one time….
the only time.
I left that place in great hurry,
and wandered….around the whole of creation.
I wandered for a thousand years, and thousands more,
and I never went back there —
to that beautiful place,
and I never saw her again.
I heard she died very, very old…
I have died myself many times, and been reborn…and I remember.
I would have liked to have spoken to her, just once,
she was a light, a bright shining light.
I never hear her voice, except….that lover’s song she sang sweetly so very long ago.
By a brook in a glade; on the first day of it all.
She never knew about me — she couldn’t have.
She never knew that I even existed — why would she have?
Oh, that I loved her beyond anything that I could love.
And I never looked at another,
Should I have tried?
Would she have chosen me over him?
I never really thought about those things until,
it was far too late,
and a great time had passed, between us.
She was much older then…. and she had her children….and grandchildren.
A rumor spread….about a snake, lies, a tree, and an apple.
But none of it is truth.
I’m sure he saw me watching her —
that first time in the glade.
In fact I know it is true;
and he started those rumours.
Those lies that polluted the spirit of the world.
About what I am.
I am none of those things.
Was he afraid that he would lose her,
that she might have chosen me over him.
I have not spoken to him,
even though he thinks I am his threat.
what should have been, is lost in time.
And Adamites inherited the world.
And the individual is pushed aside.
And those that imagine like me,
are persecute, and pushed to the edges of it all.
We will always have war…for he will not have peace.