As ‘Dark Winter’ approaches…disobedience and Banana cream pie throwing is rising in popularity.

CREAM-PIE

In an unspoken and unreported phenomenon that is rising across the planet is, banana cream pies as a vocal instrument of choice. Words into art you might say, are being used as weapons against the powers that be…yes that’s right. Pie chuckers are rising in great numbers, food fighting their way through this…this pandemic.

And the point of it all is that no one is reporting this silent epidemic. This disaster has caused so much havoc that pie makers have had too up the numbers of shifts in making pies to service the demand for cream pies.

This reporter spoke to one pie shop that is mailing some 300 pies a day to addresses all over the world, only to find that their most popular cream pie, the banana cream pie (BCP) is being used by run-past chuckers, that’s right! They run by some pol or authority figure and place the pie in the face of the victim, so as to smoosh the creamy contents at less half way up the nose of the victim.

Success it seems is in whither the cream goes the full way up the right and left nostril. If done correctly, the victim of the BCP should be able taste banana cream pie, for at two weeks later.

I was startled to find there is now workshops online to show the right and wrong ways of pie chucking.

It seems pie chuckers have taken their inspiration from the infamous 1999 incident of three consecutive pies in a face at a Belgium meeting of Microsoft CEO at the time, William Henry Gates, that’s right the vaccine tycoon and the leading expert on infectious diseases in the world.

That one incident holds the world record of pies in face of a politician or celebrity figure in a one-hour period. And three pies being administered into the face in a distance of less that 50 feet.

It holds another record as all three pies where banana cream pie, which is like the trifecta of pie chucking.

In researching this piece, I found that pie chucking has an extended history dating back to the sixteen century, and at one time one could hire a professional pie chucker to offend a rival or to upset a state official. It seems pie chucking is the ultimate non-violent means of protest.

The art form has had it fits and starts, shortages over history have affected the numbers within a given year.

It was not until one ‘Soupy Sales” aka Milton Supman, January 8th, 1926-October 22nd, 2009, brought it quickly back into fashion.

“What starts with F and ends with UCK? A fire truck!” Milton Supman

Soupy, an American actor and comedian, radio and TV personality, Jazz aficionado and children’s television program host brought it back with a bang and a smoosh.

Soupy used this mode of entertainment and laughter to raise the giggle factor of many child audiences, and for that fact, anyone with that childlike humor still alive inside them. Soupy the quintessential clown nicknamed “soupbone’.

Soupy who claims to hold the world record for the most pies in face, both received and given. The Supster claimed to have taken some 20,000 cream pies over his lifetime and has given just as many to boot.

Flattened by a frozen pie, he has always urged the safety of the art form. The Supster has pied such famous names as Frank Sinatra and Jerry Lewis, and a great number of politicians and celebrities. And everyone of his friends.

“My wife can’t cook, but she sure can cream my banana!” – Milton Supman

Soupy instructed acting classes, in the art of pie throwing. And its not as easy as you might think? Timing is of the essence, and many an incident has backfired onto the pie throwers.

*Disclaimer: It is important to understand that throwees/throwers and those in between understand they must never throw pies that are in glass pie plates*

Many times, the chucker is upset as the pie is redirected by a quick and attentive adversary. Soupy was an ambidextrous pie thrower and taught even the ancient and time honored Chinese ways of chucking the pie. Soupy studied under the famous zen pie master: Phi zar Kreme.

Phi, a zen master, taught the middle way to the face technique, which is up and through.

It seems that of late pies in faces are being presented too and driving cream up the proboscis of the most deserving of pols, celebrities and general pains in the ass.

Cream pieing is a history that goes way back and in the twentieth century…

Famous pies are the PEI Pie Brigade, the chocolate pie Zorro, the Anita Bryan homosexual pie which had all the colors of cream in rainbow and a banana with a peach filling. The “Erkle Smerkle” or black man go white face, pie in face is classic.

And now a collection from the masters himself Milton ‘Soupy’ Sales. And the Soupy Sales “Hall of Famers”…