*This has been a project that has consumed great amount of time and money; for the many writers involved; interpreters, the deep deep research invested into this one article has taken over 6 months of time from dedicated experts in the field of proper journalism. That being said, we lay out this sad story*

 

Klaus Schwab the founder and Executive chairman of the World Economic Forum was, suspected, of having a few too many in his celebratory lead-up to the festival of the WEF in May.

Before his speech during a session of “Our World Today: Why governments must act now.” — Klaus, who did not appear in person at the meeting and his speech was given in virtual way. Presumedly via ZOOM meeting.

After a long examination, and copious hours of research this reporter found that it is possibly suspected that he might have ‘needed’ to sit down, as his speech was sounding a bit tipsy. He did not answer questions after the speech and no independent journalist was allowed to interview him. As no one knew where the speech was coming from, a video analyst with very high credentials from a local video club stated he is positive Klaus is naked from the waist down in the video. As reverse transcribed video analysis, using,  bi-ocular modem triangular conspectulation has shown. And, that the actual site of the video was in the building the virtual meeting was presented in…bystanders in the hallway heard the speech coming from the room next door to the virtual meeting hall. A unnamed witness I spoke too said she peaked through the door, she could see his naked hairy legs and knees below his chair seat…

But, I’ll leave that to the experts.

Klaus, has, its seems, been troubled, seen a number of times at the same medi-clinic in his home town in Switzerland, and many times is caught with a wide open and very colorful Hawaiian shirt, exposing his moobs and in baggy shorts, a wig of long blond hair and slick and dark expensive designer sunglasses, aiming to disguise his presence. Klaus usually arrives in a posh high-end yellow Lamborghini with a giggling youngish blond woman in the passenger seat and sometimes arrives with a lispy German dwarf between them.

Usually double parking his sports car in front of the clinic in his hometown in Switzerland. *Privacy laws have forbid us from naming that Swiss town and this reporting does not wish to profit  from Mister Schwab’s life problems*

Klaus Schwab has been mysteriously missing from his usual 12 step meetings he had been attending for decades. “Inquiring Minds” tracked down his sponsor who refused to comment when asked.

Sources say, Klaus has fallen of the wagon, and has left his longtime wife of decades and bought the new sports car in cash quite recently?

Sources also relate, hordes of jet-setters have been seen at his plush hideaway estate, coming and going partying every night, loud music; and copious amounts of alcohol (wine and spirit delivery vans have been seen entering and exiting the premises quite frequently); drugs have, been suspected?

A really bad Barry Manilow look-alike and entertainer was hired to sing at one these weekend soiree’s.

“Inquiring Minds” reporter, Harley Clutzups’s aid told an independent reporter who told us — and said, Harley, told him he heard a duet later that evening, with the lookalike Manilow and Klaus, sometime after midnight on that Saturday and Klaus was singing in a very loud and drunken voice a popular Manilow song…he heard…

“I writz ze songs tzat makes za whole vorld sing
I writz ze songs of love andz za spessial zings
I writz za songs zat makes zem youngs girls cryzs…I writz zose songs…”

A pilot that works at the local airport where Klaus parks his private jet and personal business helicopter, said he saw the Schwab jet return, and upon investigation. From Columbia very early March with a number of very happy, young and voluptuous girls on board and a large bale of something wrapped in white hemp cloth, with ‘Made in Columbia’ stenciled in black ink on the side of the bale, tied up in bale chord…security for the Schwab estate were heavy at the small airport that day and night. 

Upon examination, a strange, white substance can, be seen, if one looks very, very close, enough so to see around the bottom of the Klaus’s nose; on the right nostril, in the following video.

We had an expert examine the video (using bi-ocular modem triangular conspectulation) and, he, claims, and is proof positive that it is ” […] not powdered sugar from a doughnut”. 

What we present below is startling to say the least, mind blowing at best, and…well, frankly disturbing. Did I mention we are unbiased?

Our many thanks to “TRANSLATIONS R US” who supplied the following transcript of the above video for the hearing impaired and for the ‘don’t want to hear impaired’ . We gratefully acknowledge the difficult task and enormous time spent on this long project, they, have been working on the video since March. The many hours spent, and numbers of translators needed in the transposing into the following text. It was a difficult project and at great expense we present it here, in full.

The translators have suggested that the viewer listen too, and watch the video at half speed, that it might help to improve the sound quality and make the dialogue more intelligible.

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Video transcript:

“Your excellencies, ladezs and ze gentlemen, itz my grreat honor to partizipate for ze eightz-time at zis importanze meeting even if only in a virtual vay. I vould like to expresz my high respect toos his highnesz Shaukh Mohammedz bin Rashid al Maktoum for having taken za initiative for craeatings such ant importanz global platform for governments schaping za future. I OLZO vant to congratulates Dubai for having organized such za successful vorld expo despite ALL za repercussions of ze global pandemic. Last November in partnership with his excellency Mohammed al-Gagavi, we, brought together 60 topz intellectual sinkers here in ze Dubai. Zank-you to his excellency for enabling zis initiative tos define a longer-term narrative to makes ze vorld More resilient, More incluzive and morse sustainable. WIS ALLZ ze current issues on our agenda we tend to forget zat vee are in za MIDST of the force industry evolution which AXEelerates global change in mouch more comprehesive and faster vays since za previous three revolutions. I’m proud, zat the government of Dubai has bean zo foresighted in establishing a center for the force industry revolutionz, in cooperation with the Vorld Economics Forum zee objective iz to QUICKLY reekognize ze potential of new technologies as vell as za develope ze necessary essical and political frameworks around zose new technologies to ensure zat zose technologies are human-centered anz society-oriented. Ze vorld has to overcome not ONLY ze damage done to our economies and our societies by kobed19. It ALSO has to confrontz ze repercussionz of a dangerous clash between major global powerzs. Hiztory iz truly at a turning point. Ve do not yet nose ze full extent and the sisystemic and structural changes which vill happenz, HOWEVER ve do nose zat global energy systems, food systems and supply schains vill be deeply affected. In times of of crizis ze role of governmentz is more important and MORE relevant zan ever. Vat diz also needed is a summit like zis one to go beyond kaisers’s management and to look into constructive vays vee can buildz hour common future. Our futures are intrinzically connected to one anan another as profound challenges to mankindz such as climate change are globally interconnected and require collaborative responsez. In conclusion and despite all ze challenges, VEE, have to uphold our responsibility vitch we have tovords the NEXT generation at which we can ONLY fulfill through collaboration on a national and a global level. I vish you an impactful and successful meeting.”